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BURGER EXPERIMENTALISM VOL. 1: THE CLASSIC

burger classic 1

Light a fire. As you do, wander the yard to the shed, find the fridge in it and open a coldbeer. The coals need time to burn yet. Besides, it’s hot out. A man get’s thirsty.

Stare blankly. Doesn’t matter at what. Stopping thought is good for a brain from time to time.

Fry some bacon. A house that smells like bacon at 4pm is a better house than it was at 3:45.

Use your hand to mix lamb and beef. Feel the cold flesh of the fresh grind between your fingers. Smell its dusky bloodsmell. Squeeze together and create an entirely new beast from the minced bits of two.

burger classic 2

Make a ball of the new beast, make it the size of a tennis ball. Make several more. Make them into patties two fingers thick. Make them uniform and blunt the edges. They will cook better that way.

Salt liberally and remember why it was once used as currency. Rub (also liberally) with bacon fat and wonder why it’s not currently used as currency.

Tomatoes. Find a good one. Hopefully it’s your own. If you have occasion, go to the yard. Pick one. Stare blankly.

If good lettuce enters your vision, pick it as well. If good lettuce enters your vision, you’re a better gardener than me. And you’re probably not standing in Texas August in a draught year.

Check the fire. The coals should be talking by now, speaking of heat and resinous pops and thrown sparks. Place your grate well above the heat and close the lid. Right now the grate is only Texas hot. Let it approach Africa hot.

burger classic 3

Slice some very sharp cheddar. Break a sizable piece of stilton. Fish a quality pickle from its jar. Bite, repeat.

Return to the yard. Lay the beasts down to the flame and let them be. Lid up. Master the rhythm of the grill man’s afternoon. Stare blankly. It’s probably time for another coldbeer. Drink it in.

Today is a day for The Classic. Take comfort in silence. And the well considered detail of a tried and true meat sandwich. Tomorrow will be a day for something new.

Burger classic 4

The Classic

½ lb ground grassfed beef
½ lb ground lamb
Dried onion flakes
Oregano
Salt/pepper

High quality pickles
Butter lettuce
Ripe tomatoes
Bacon, cooked, bacon fat reserved
Brioche bun, store bought or homemade, toasted
Yellow mustard
Homemade mayo

Light a charcoal grill. In a bowl mix your meats with the oregano, onion and black pepper. Salt the outsides liberally. And smear with bacon fat. Grill your burgers over heat that will allow you finishing them to medium. Add the cheese and close the grill’s lid to melt. Assemble the burgers with pickles, lettuce, tomato slices and bacon. Add a little yellow mustard and mayo. Enjoy the taste of summer.

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4 responses to “BURGER EXPERIMENTALISM VOL. 1: THE CLASSIC”

  1. Judy says:

    OMG Now I’m hungry. Can you give Clyde lessons?

  2. I so love blue cheese on my burger! yum!

  3. Aunt Patty says:

    If you drink enough cold beer, ground round tastes just as good as your burger, maybe better.