logo
Barbecue
ribs 3

POINT THAT “FLAVOR INJECTOR” AT SOMEBODY ELSE, MISTER

A lot of people fuck up ribs. There’s just no way around it. They’re either too sweet or too dry or too mushy or too gloppy or too… just fucked up. And for something that is so much a staple of so much barbecue, this really is a travesty. In part, I blame competition style barbecue and all of it’s associated ...

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 2.34.53 PM

SOME DAYS ARE JUST PORK CHOP DAYS

The Month of Cooking Dangerously trudges forward. To begin, a few updates: Claustrophobia has definitely set in. The walls in my livable areas seem to be closing fast. Spaces are getting smaller and concurrently the various piles of shit (important shit, yes, but piles none the less) seem to be towering higher and ...

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 2.41.32 PM

FRIED PIE BENT AND HELL BOUND

I woke up this morning with a hangover. Not from drinking, I was solo parenting for the night and tipping a bottle doesn’t exactly scream responsible dad to me. No, I’m pretty sure this particular feeling was brought on by a mix of fat, salt and greasy shame. Recently a couple things occurred in my mind. One was ...

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 3.46.58 PM

SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, DOCTOR FATTERSON

I feel like my priorities have been all out of whack lately. The once fertile womb of my curing chamber lies fallow and has for months. My freezer is empty of the homemade bacon that makes summer tomatoes achieve their otherworldly state. My smoker has seen only one brisket this entire season, and even that was a bit of a ...

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 2.56.32 PM

ONE SEXY BIRD

I’m what you might call a late adopter. Exaltations of new and revolutionary tend to be met with a great deal of suspicion, if not outright derision, in my house. To my mind the tried and true will always win out over the hot and newfangled. Typically, when presented with the latest version of “the greatest thing ...

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 3.15.44 PM

THE UNDISPUTED KING OF TEXAS BEEF

I learned to cook brisket from a man with one thumb. Actually it was half a thumb. Three quarters if you count the bony protuberance at the end of it. The other one was intact, but his brisket thumb had been pulled off by a mule. Or bitten off in a bar fight . Or sacrificed in disgrace after a brief but disappointing ...

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 3.26.54 PM

SANTA MARIA TRI TIP: BARBECUE’S MOST DESERVING STEP CHILD

Living in Texas, I’ve been privy to many, many debates on the true origin of quality barbeque: Central Texas, West Texas, East Texas. Then usually some unfortunate soul mentions some other state or town in the south and is shouted out of the room. Texans are dogmatic about their barbeque, and admittedly I am no ...