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THE UNDISPUTED KING OF TEXAS BEEF

I learned to cook brisket from a man with one thumb. Actually it was half a thumb. Three quarters if you count the bony protuberance at the end of it. The other one was intact, but his brisket thumb had been pulled off by a mule. Or bitten off in a bar fight . Or sacrificed in disgrace after a brief but disappointing ...

CHARCUTEPALOOZA CHALLENGE #7: THE ART OF MAKING HOT DOGS, IN WHICH I BATTLE A DEAD POSSUM

A brief primer: I am a writer at an ad agency. That means I’m one of the people who makes up and writes the TV ads, billboards and magazine pages that people do their best to ignore. I work with a variety of clients, and over the years, the people I’ve written ads for have included a few food and/or beverage companies. To ...

SANTA MARIA TRI TIP: BARBECUE’S MOST DESERVING STEP CHILD

Living in Texas, I’ve been privy to many, many debates on the true origin of quality barbeque: Central Texas, West Texas, East Texas. Then usually some unfortunate soul mentions some other state or town in the south and is shouted out of the room. Texans are dogmatic about their barbeque, and admittedly I am no different. ...

A RETURN TO THINGS OUTSIDE

Living in Texas, you essentially have three seasons: hot, warm, and beef, beef season lasting year round. So you can basically get outside and cook at any point of the year, depending on your tolerance of the occasional cold spell or the not so occasional stifling heat and humidity. That said, there is something about ...

CHARCUTEPALOOZA CHALLENGE #3 ADDENDUM: A PASTRAMI SANDWICH

Staring into the waiting arms of death, Warren Zevon dished out one of life’s more salient pieces of advice: “Enjoy every sandwich.” This is one for Warren: homemade pastrami on rye with imported Swiss, spicy okra pickles and Stadium Mustard. It goes best with “The French Inhaler” played at inappropriately high ...

CHARCUTEPALOOZA CHALLENGE #3: CORNED BEEF, PASTRAMI, AND ONE OF LIFE’S GREAT BARS

The March Charcutepalooza challenge brings us to brining. Which for me meant corned beef, pastrami and a stinky, stinky attempt at sauerkraut. The process of making corned beef started with a very nice looking locally raised, grass fed brisket. Brisket being the national steak of Texas, this one wasn’t very difficult to ...

AN ENDORSEMENT: POT ROAST

It’s hard to beat a good pot roast: its 100% pure unsexiness, its unapologetic brownness, the fact that as a dish it’s basically an exercise in the textural submission of its ingredients. Even the name “Pot Roast” is so perfectly unassuming it sounds like something brown and unglamorous. And that is its ...